As excited as I am for it, the proper language seems to be that the summer looms ahead. By that I solely mean that I'm quite conflicted in regards to what I should do this summer. The problem is that there is a number of things I am passionate about, and they will get split in the passions I will and won't be able to pursue for the summer. Option number one is to stay in Tacoma. The motivation for this is bike racing, and living in my great house, with possibly some great friends. This would be great because I'd be able to ride like a fiend, race a lot, and most likely speak and study a lot of French in preparation for the fall. The problem is that I haven't found a paying job or internship yet.
The other option is to go back to my utopia in the mountains, Camp Tawonga. I had an incredible time last summer, due to the combination of stunning landscape and very high quality colleagues. I would work a counselor job this summer, which would be fun and rewarding while difficult at times. It would also look good on a resume. The problem with this is that counselors work about 20 hours a day, 6 days a week. It would mean two months without a bike, and very minimal time to practice my French, read alone read in English.
Either choice necessitates sacrifice, but promises hard work with tangible benefits. It depends on if I decide to prioritize cycling, my camp experience, boosting my resume or my French preparation. Although it goes against all that I believe in, money is one of my guiding factors in this decision. Seeing as I am going to live in Paris for a year starting in September, the more disposable income I have the better. I find solace in my confidence that there isn't a wrong choice. I've learned to minimize thinking based on "what if," and to put most of my energy into what is in front of me, therefore I will be able to devote myself to my choice.
At this moment, I don't know what will spark the decision in me. But I look forward to seeing what I choose and even more so, for the summer to actually happen.